- Her Truth -

I See Fire by Ed Sheeran . This was the song I've listened to before you came back , it was sung by a live band in an Aussie Bar . I could still remember how I felt back then , that night . Nervous , anxious , moody , and I was telling my friend about you over a few mocktails . ( Since I was the designated driver ,  I couldn't have possibly drank cocktails however much I wanted to . ) My friend was a cheerful one . She took the little flag on the table and told me to just wave . She told me to relax for a bit , whatever happen , happens . And for good reason . She was right . Maybe all of these were the best outcomes for both of us after all . And I should really try to let go even if I really miss you , and all the good times we had . However short the time span was , it was the best memory I could ever have . You gave me the first taste of adulthood , sweet love . For the past relationships I had were of childish nature , you were the first to make me feel secure , you ma...

So per usual , here's another song that fascinated me this week . I should really name this corner so I could just label it next time without all these hefty intros . Billie Eilish's idontwannabeyouanymore . And yes,  there's no space between the song title . So last week I started working , as a waitress in a Japanese restaurant . The exact location I would prefer not disclosing as I like myself working with a bit more privacy , away from people I know . It's a very fun job . Yes yes , most of you may think what's so fun about being a waitress ? Everything about it . It's like playing dinner dash , in real life . And beside that , since there's a lot of Japanese customers , I'll get to brush up on my use of Japanese honorifics . It's hilarious to see Japanese people have their eyes wide opened when I started serving them using fluent Japanese , and then they'll proceed with drowning me with lots of qu...

This song has been replaying on my phone again and again these few days . I'm a mess by Bebe Rexha . Setting aside the meaning behind the lyrics , at least it's an upbeat song . At least . A little update on my memory . I could remember bits of the sequence of events throughout the week . I could remember names of most of  the people I'm with . It's going good so far . Except for the fact that it took me another 20 minutes to remember who I went out with yesterday . I went to my friend's house yesterday and I remember her kitchen very well . Light blue furnishing and cabinets in the kitchen . That's all I remember . Not where we went . Not who's house I was in . Not who I went out with . I was making breakfast when I had a flashback memory of my friend's kitchen and I stood in front of the stove for a solid 20-30 minutes trying to think who's house I went to yesterday . But at least I remembered in the end , much to my relief . I have not been goi...

As usual I'll start off by placing in a song here that mesmerised me today . Today , it's Somewhere Only We know covered by  Reneé Dominique . She possesses such soothing voice as those of sweet angels . Soft soothing songs calms me down a whole lot when I'm agitated or upset , that's why the songs I listen to are mostly slow and smooth . I guess by writing down how and what I feel is a good thing , at least I'm mindful of my own emotions and mental state . As I've mentioned in an earlier post a few days ago , I had bought myself a little notebook that I could carry around so that I could jot down any little thoughts and observations I've come across on a daily basis . That way I could be sure of my own thoughts throughout the day . Last night was a rough one , I had only had 2 hours of shut eye because I was experiencing waves after waves of different emotions in a marathon-like sequence . First was immense frustration , almost rage like emotions a...

Before I start off my blog , this is another song that I'm into this week , it's beautiful . Passenger ft Birdy - Beautiful Birds  This blog had taken up a rather diary-liked role as I'm writing more frequently this month .  But of course ,   I would know to which extend I would need to keep private as this blog is opened for the public to read . ( And for the prying eyes , wink . I see you . )  I find it rather interesting to sit down and observe people from afar .  From their body languages to their behaviours , from their little gestures to their use of languages . I would have written every bits of my thoughts during these observations on this blog posts but unfortunately for me , my bad memory had interfered in such a way that I couldn't really remember much of my thought processes . I guess I could say it's gotten better , at least it's not as bad as last week where I couldn't remember anything from the day before . Though I still mess up the...

Today , I quit my job . Let's say we make this post a simple one,  for the remembrance of how sketchy of a work it was and how stupid I was for being scammed ( semi-scammed ?  ) I would say a few things that were super weird about the work I had left today . They have told me everything below which had intrigued me into accepting this job offer : ( a ) We won't force you to force sales on your friends and family . ( UTTER BULLSHIT ON THIS PART ALREADY )   ( b ) We would provide you with sufficient training  ( which they did not ) . They only explained the benefits of HLA saving plan , to which,  I too think it's beneficial and i wouldn't deny the benefits of it , but still , no other sufficient training was provided . 2 days and they'll force you to do sales with your own " Natural market " .  ( to  prevent any conflicts with the huge company itself I would only use the abbreviation of HLA for reference to the huge company they are r...

What distasteful sight it was . And also  , what a horrid joke fate had played on us  . Let me correct myself , On you and not me . For to me it was more like observing a freak show . Either way , ludicrous . I've never jumped so fast on my laptop before . After I saw that sight I immediately decided I needed to write it down , to record what horrendous sight I've witnessed . So let me brief you through what had  happened today . I figured it would be most appropriate to start with the dream I had last night . To put it in a simple sense , I've dreamt of him last night . For which him I would not disclose , it would be reasonably clear for those well acquainted with me which he I may be subliminally ( or not ) referring to . I've not dreamt of him for quite a while now , as he means so little to me in my present days , or should I be specific , particularly worthless , so worthless that my mind could not be bothered enough to process his coexisten...

Let me explain myself here , this blog post will only make sense to you if you're my closest of acquaintances . Anyone other than that of my closest friends may or may not be able to comprehend the exact meaning of this entry . Now that's out of the way let me start by saying :  "I'm utterly confused. " So few days ago I've posted an entry regarding  - Closure - https://lilyandthelostbluesky.blogspot.com/2018/06/closure-29th-june-2018.html It was about the closure of another chapter of my life , or as I thought it was . Apparently I should've let go of what have strangled me for the past couple of months , and I've finally made the decision to do so last week .  It was horrendous for the first couple of days , heart breaking wails and break downs , full blown panic attacks  ( I'm suppressing it with some Chinese Meds , it works at least a little ) , worrisome dysfunction in memory ( which I'll be getting into later in this e...