- Missing - 28th July 2018 -

I See Fire by Ed Sheeran .
This was the song I've listened to before you came back ,
it was sung by a live band in an Aussie Bar .
I could still remember how I felt back then ,
that night .
Nervous ,
anxious ,
moody ,
and I was telling my friend about you over a few mocktails .
( Since I was the designated driver ,
 I couldn't have possibly drank cocktails however much I wanted to . )

My friend was a cheerful one .
She took the little flag on the table and told me to just wave .
She told me to relax for a bit ,
whatever happen ,
happens .
And for good reason .
She was right .
Maybe all of these were the best outcomes for both of us after all .
And I should really try to let go even if I really miss you ,
and all the good times we had .
However short the time span was ,
it was the best memory I could ever have .
You gave me the first taste of adulthood ,
sweet love .
For the past relationships I had were of childish nature ,
you were the first to make me feel secure ,
you made me felt that I could trust you .
You made me feel as if I am something .
That I could be something .
And most importantly ,
you helped me broke through all the hardships .
You were my much needed catalyst for my slow process of growth .
But look at me now , hun .
I've grown so much in mere months since I've met you .
You taught me to be strong and independent again ,
as I once was ,
before I got bashed down in previous traumas .
Though ironically these growths come with both positive and negative impacts ,
I still sincerely thank you for all that you've done for me .
Though in the end we did not end up as we wanted to ,
or ,
more accurately ,
as I wanted to .
You were the very best .
My very best .
The best that I could ever have .
Yes ,
and I would never deny the fact that I miss you .

I intend this blog to be an ambiguous one .
I'll leave all the imagining and guessing games to you .
Good luck ,
my fellow readers .

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I miss you so much .

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