- Coincidence & Premonitions - 3rd July 2018 -

What distasteful sight it was .
And also  ,
what a horrid joke fate had played on us  .
Let me correct myself ,
On you and not me .
For to me it was more like observing a freak show .
Either way ,
ludicrous .
I've never jumped so fast on my laptop before .
After I saw that sight I immediately decided I needed to write it down ,
to record what horrendous sight I've witnessed .

So let me brief you through what had  happened today .
I figured it would be most appropriate to start with the dream I had last night .
To put it in a simple sense ,
I've dreamt of him last night .
For which him I would not disclose ,
it would be reasonably clear for those well acquainted with me which he I may be subliminally ( or not ) referring to .
I've not dreamt of him for quite a while now ,
as he means so little to me in my present days ,
or should I be specific ,
particularly worthless ,
so worthless that my mind could not be bothered enough to process his coexistence in this universe .
That's how I've been ,
he had never really crossed my mind these days ,
for I was so preoccupied with other matters and individuals that I couldn't get my head around his minimal existence in my mind .
But I do enjoy taunting him now and then to remind him of  my existence ,
for it would be too merciful for me to just let it be ,
after everything that he'd put me through .
You'd say I love to hold grudges .
You'd say I'm as bad of a woman like the devil himself .
For whatever you've said of me ,
I'll become .

As I occasionally love to quote ,
just for my own amusement that is .
" Karma comes in the form that is too slow that I shall act in her  place . " God knows I wouldn't act out .

So whatever reason it may have been ,
I've dreamt of  coincidentally seeing him in a mall .
Today I've decided to drive my mother to the mall to have lunch ,
I could have chosen other routes as there are many other route options that linked to the mall .
But instead of the usual route ,
I decided to use the other route that I rarely use and when I stopped at the red light .
Guess what I saw ?
A bunch of teenage boys walking at the road side .
I got this instant goosebumps  and the immense disgusted feeling ,
like a notch in my throat ,
nauseating .
And yes .
There he was .
At the front row of the bunch .
I got so excited for God knows what reason and I slapped my mother on her lap and screamed out loud :
" Oh mother look ! That's  the boy ! That's him ! That's the monstrosity I was talking to you about ! "
As I mentioned earlier ,
I acted in such excitement that it was as if I was watching a modern day freak show .
My mother immediately got the idea and looked at the direction I've pointed and the first thing she told  me was :
" I'm glad you left him . He doesn't even look decent.  "
Thanks mother .
I'm not sure if he or any one of his entourage ( such grand word , rather unfitting I guess ) saw me as I was in my car and my car windows aren't that of the tinted kind .
I guess I was laughing and pointing in such an obvious manner it wouldn't be such a surprise if any one of them saw me .
But does it bother me ?
Not one single bit .
I've done no wrong .
Therefore ,
I would not be put in a position where I should be afraid .
I'm proud of who I am and what I've become .
I'm more than what I could've been when you were in my life .
I'm immensely relieved by the fact that I've discharged you out of my life .
Like the poison you are ,

Disclaimer :
This  post is in no way demeaning to anyone .
For those who've been with me throughout these couple of years ,
who've witness my journey and experiences ,
would be clear of my intentions .
However bitter and acrimonious I may sound ,
my intention will never be to shame nor bring down any individual .
For who I'm referring to ,
I'll leave that to your imagination .
My mere intention is to record what I've experienced and how I've felt  throughout the whole process of my growth .
As I always emphasize ,
or should I say,
remind myself .
I should try my very best to tell no lie and
I should be that person who stands firm to her truth .
I believe everyone has the rights to their own judgements based on their own inspections and point of view and I dare say some may tell me  I'm obnoxious for the entries I've written on this Blog .
I sincerely apologise that our opinions do not match ,
but I'm not sorry for what I've felt and also experienced ,
for you've not witness my journey ,
for you've not gone through what I've experienced .
Before we judge ,
let's say we give each other a little space for new perspective .
Have a good day .