Three Months

Hello there .

I guess it's been a great while since i last posted an entry here on Blogger .

Two years , to be exact . 

I guess today I'll be doing a bit of update here and there about how my life had changed in the past two years and I might emphasize more on the past three months . 

To put it short , 

after quitting KDU University College Penang in July 2016 ,

I've entered ATC Penang on January of 2017 to start my A-levels on Humanities subjects . 

And now I've finished my A-levels in ATC Penang and with God's grace ,

I hope I'll be able to at least pass . 

Okay ,
by now a lot of you might be curious as to why the requirement for a mere " PASS " ?
" The egoistic Feon who had very high expectations of herself now wants a mere " PASS " in her examinations ?
Who would have thought ? "
Now now ,
let me tell you why .

2017 - Year to Remember 
Reality slapped me hard on the face .
To tell the truth ,
I've worked really hard on my AS level .
My lecturers could see all of the efforts i've put into my work and studies .
But unfortunately on 2017 ,
a horrid year ,
there were some incidents that had strained my mental state greatly .
I hereby , 

am not able to reveal what were the actual incidents but to put it in a simple manner ,
I had to juggle between studying and running various errands .
Don't get me wrong here .
I am in no way trying to blame my moderate examination results on those incidents .
But please do understand that at that stage of my life ,
I went through countless severe mental breakdowns as i was unable to cope with the pressure and the intense emotions I was dealing with within me .
I was but a mere 19 years old girl ,
meek and vulnerable ,
and knew of nothing .
I was alone , 

all alone .
I had braved through the adversity of my weak mind alone ,
while on the other hand ,
supporting someone else physically and emotionally .
When I close my eyes ,
I could still feel it within me .
The immense fear and helplessness ,

 the inner cry for help .
I kept telling myself ,
that I should not sink .
I dare not sink .
For sinking meant I was to drag down everyone else that had needed my support .
I had no choice but to move forward with the scars alongside all my responsibilities and duties .
Though not physical nor visible to the eye ,
were far worst than that of a bodily wound .
For these scars did not took a physical shape ,
which made it that much more difficult to discard or heal . 

It was truly an experience ,
a horrendous one ,
which i never wish to experience once more .
As for my AS level ,
I got CCC for my subjects .
Which were disappointing ,
but was what I expected of .

Venturing into 2018 

- to be continued -